A attempt at some clean humor

[ezdays]

We take English for granted but if we explore its paradoxes, we find:
                quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea, nor is it a pig.
                And why, if writers write, do fingers not fing, grocers groce or hammers ham?
                If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth?
                One goose, two geese. So one moose, two meese? One index, two indices?
                Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend.
                If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
                In what language do you recite at a play and play at a recital? 
                Ship by truck and send cargo by ship?
                How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?
                Your house can burn up as it burns down?
                You fill in a form by filling it out and an alarm goes off by going on.
                English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which,
                of course, is not a race at all.
                That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.