We need a GERN thread

[deckroid]

Here is a GERN item I found when researching in my local newspaper's archives:

Monday, October 11, 1954 - Weikle, Washington.
The makers of GERN's Processed Meats have announced today that their new facility is now open. GERN Industries, Ltd, started work on the plant only 6 short months ago. When questioned about the seemingly miraculous speed of a new building going up, a spokesman said, "We use GERN pre-set concrete, it helps these babies go up 3% faster!"

The meat processing and packing plant has brought many jobs to the area and has boosted the economy, oddly enough, by 3%. All forms of animals have been seen in the adjacent Hillman's Stock Yards, and when asked, the spokesman only said, "All manner of animals go into GERN Processed Meats. Remember, if it's GERN, it's good!" With a wink and a smile, the spokesman left the press conference and hopped back onto a special business class car belonging to the Northern Pacific, which services Weikle with transport goods only, for now. The mayor of Weikle, Terry Sexton, couldn't speculate on passenger service starting in Weikle, but said that there is talk of the Northern Pacific buying up land east of Weikle, towards Yakima.

And here is a photo of a billboard I found from about a year later:



Then I found this instant coffee ad that had a tag line of "Yes, dear readers, GERN Instant Coffee is 3% tastier with 3% less mess, too!". GERN offers 1956 readers of Life a testimonial from Mrs. Henry L. Brown of Great Notch, New Jersey, who says, “To have this husband of mine O.K. my instant coffee is a minor miracle.” Another housewife says, “So quick and simple, too.”



George