We need a GERN thread

[MountainMan]

Bagpipes treated with Gern Flux break 3% more eardrums!

When was GERN officially founded?

[doctorwayne]

I copied this from my reply to the same question which you asked over at Zealot:

Well, the idea for GERN originated in the late '50s, and was my brother Steven's brainchild. We had a table-top hockey game, the kind where the players are controlled by rods under the "ice" surface. We each had several teams, and all of the players were named, allowing us to keep statistics for each "season". One of his players was Cookie Gibson, centre, team owner, and well-to-do flux magnate. If I recall correctly, he won the scoring championship several times, playing for the Shawinigan Syrup Kings.
It was determined that flux was not so much like soldering flux, but more like flux in the expression "in a state of flux", or changeable. When I finally had the opportunity to build my layout, I knew that a flux facility would have to be included. Steven picked up the ball (or puck) and came up with some advertising, signs, and snippets of historical information.
Since I model the late '30s, I've arbitrarily back-dated GERN's origins (as ever, in a state of flux) back to the early 1900s. Historical records do exist (somewhere) that flux was mined in Britain as far back as Roman times, and the Chinese "claim" to have evidence of prehistoric flux mines. Regardless, Mr. Gibson (his real name is Charles, although most call him Cookie) has secured the world-wide rights to all flux deposits, including any yet to be discovered and has recently negotiated lunar mining claims, for the time when that becomes feasible. So, even if a company mines flux under the name of another company, GERN is sure to reap the financial benefits. Several recent court cases have borne this out, and GERN of the People's Republic of China may be one of the few industries in that country subject to stringent standards of quality control, both through the Government and through GERN International. The consumer can rest assured that "If It's GERN, It is indeed Good".

By the way, for a long time, I didn't like the sound of bagpipes either, but I've come to appreciate them in some contexts. One of my favourite songs with bagpipes is AC/DC's "It's a Long Way to the Top (if You Wanna Rock and Roll)". I don't know if it's good bagpipe playing in the opinion of a true bagpipe aficionado, but, for me, it really "makes" that song.

Wayne

[MountainMan]

There goesw my idea of adding a GERN car to my layout. There won't be any for fifty more years! :?

[doctorwayne]

Not necessarily. I should read some of this promotional material more carefully, as a couple of items clearly show GERN's origins to go back further, at least into the 1800s.
While undated, reference to the British Empire suggests this to be a 19th century document:
[album]260[/album]

Further, this document, expounding on the origins of the GERN logo, adds credence to that suggestion:

Sir: I write to you with an important discovery! Fresh information recently come to light (I told them they should have replaced that bulb years ago!) in the basement of the Gern Archives in Arnprior; an historical set of Gern logos! Top left you'll see what is believed to be the first official use of the word "GERN" on the logo of the commercial enterprise known at the time simply as Gibson's Flux. It would seem to lend credence to the theory shared by most prominent fluxologists that the term "GERN was indeed an initialism affectionately given to the product by a grateful clientele. Or, as a minority opine, given by a clientele exhausted from repeating the words, "Gibson's Extraordinary Remedial Naturalized Flux" . Nonetheless, it appears this logo may have been in use as early as 1860! Note the distinctive Gern propellor! Top right (circa 1900) we see the initialism emerge as a STANDALONE element sans the traditional four word descriptor with which it had always been so closely associated—but still sporting the popular propellor motif! By 1920 (bottom left) the letters forming the word GERN are united into a single typographical entity and all reference to the original initialism has been abandoned. Finally, on the bottom right we see an undated logo, perhaps as early as 1928, incorporating the famous Gern slogan so familiar in the furthest reaches of the globe today. It is believed a second version of this logo may have existed without the propellor! We'll keep digging! yours etc. Amanda Bilgewater Archivist The Gern Foundation

Below are the various versions of the logo referred to in the above letter:
[album]261[/album]

Finally, this ad, from the 1920s , should demonstrate that, indeed, GERN is a timeless entity. Note in particular the advanced version of the automobile and the then-unheard-of airliner.
[album]262[/album]

This material clearly demonstrates that GERN is the flux of today and of the future. Or, in your case, of yesteryear. to the world of GERN.

Wayne

[MountainMan]

Outstanding! Now I can have a GERN car or two - this layout wouldn't look right without them!

[ngauger]

BREAKING NEWS!!!!!!

GERN Flux helps Todd Bodine go 3% faster...

Use of "Questionable" chemicals under review from NASCAR

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[deckroid]

Here is a GERN item I found when researching in my local newspaper's archives:

Monday, October 11, 1954 - Weikle, Washington.
The makers of GERN's Processed Meats have announced today that their new facility is now open. GERN Industries, Ltd, started work on the plant only 6 short months ago. When questioned about the seemingly miraculous speed of a new building going up, a spokesman said, "We use GERN pre-set concrete, it helps these babies go up 3% faster!"

The meat processing and packing plant has brought many jobs to the area and has boosted the economy, oddly enough, by 3%. All forms of animals have been seen in the adjacent Hillman's Stock Yards, and when asked, the spokesman only said, "All manner of animals go into GERN Processed Meats. Remember, if it's GERN, it's good!" With a wink and a smile, the spokesman left the press conference and hopped back onto a special business class car belonging to the Northern Pacific, which services Weikle with transport goods only, for now. The mayor of Weikle, Terry Sexton, couldn't speculate on passenger service starting in Weikle, but said that there is talk of the Northern Pacific buying up land east of Weikle, towards Yakima.

And here is a photo of a billboard I found from about a year later:



Then I found this instant coffee ad that had a tag line of "Yes, dear readers, GERN Instant Coffee is 3% tastier with 3% less mess, too!". GERN offers 1956 readers of Life a testimonial from Mrs. Henry L. Brown of Great Notch, New Jersey, who says, “To have this husband of mine O.K. my instant coffee is a minor miracle.” Another housewife says, “So quick and simple, too.”



George

[ngauger]

TOO FUNNY!!!!!!

[doctorwayne]

And don't overlook this one:




Wayne

[cnw1961]

Wayne, Nescabob messed it up somehow. Only 2% quicker with Fluxanium Crystals?

[MasonJar]

Wayne, Nescabob messed it up somehow. Only 2% quicker with Fluxanium Crystals?

I agree. If Wayne hadn't posted it, I would have pegged it as a counterfeit product...!

Andrew

[rrinker]

They're squeaking by a rule which allows them to say it's 100% beans when clearly it can't be if it has Fluxanium Crystals in it. In a small enough quantity, it can still be labeled as 100% beans, but there's just that hint of crystals for the benefit. :mrgreen:

--Randy

[Ralph]

Holy thread resurrection Batman! Always good to talk about GERN!
Ralph

[Lester Perry]

Is it possible to get a list and maybe photos of all the Gern facilities out there?

[faraway]

Is it possible to get a list and maybe photos of all the Gern facilities out there?

While the GERN elevator has been moved from the south yard to the north yard, it is still a GERN elevator. Pls see the sign on top of the roof. It is part of the excitment to live in "my" Wilmington harbor. You can watch daily LAJ engines switching and you got a GERN facility